


Just Smile!

by OnceABlueMoon



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Activism, BAMF Women, Bianchi-centric, Chrome-centric, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Especially not the Reborn chapter, Feminist Themes, M/M, Sexism, Shapeshifting, Superheroes, The Author Regrets Nothing, Villains, Witches, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-25 16:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12040245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceABlueMoon/pseuds/OnceABlueMoon
Summary: Bianchi was told one time too many to smile- Until she carved it into her face. She does just fine as the Joker.KHR Batman fusion1. Just Smile! (Bianchi!Joker)2. Ac-ti-va-tion, Bat Witch! (Nagi/Chrome!Batman),3. MO: Suplex-Rob-You-Blind (Kyoko!Catwoman)4. I Hear Pantomime! (Reborn!Harley Quinn)5. Everywhere The Devil Spits (Dino!Poison Ivý)





	1. Just Smile! (Bianchi)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [OperaEagle IcelynLacelett's writing style](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/321846) by OperaEagle IcelynLacelett. 
  * Inspired by [this Tumblr post](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/321849) by ithelpstodream. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Batman.
> 
> Normal = Bianchi  
>  **Bold** = society gossips  
>  _Italics_ = Bianchi's father

**_Bianchi is society, Bianchi is the girl,_ **

**_Bianchi is so pretty, but don’t you know, girl?_ **

**_Just wear some makeup, put on a pretty smile,_ **

**_‘Till the world goes wi-ild._ **

****

But don’t you know, my papa,

I don’t like it very much,

Lipgloss sticks to my hair,

And covering skin sucks.

I’d much rather paint my nails

A pretty shade of poison.

Oh, papa, won’t you leave me to my business?

_If you want to poison, dear,_

_Then go work in the kitchen._

_Cook some for your brother,_

_Or-even-just-make_

_A sandwich_

_Or two._

And this is why I poison men,

This why I hate,

This is why I scream and shout,

And never want a date!

None of you understand,

You're fools, all of you!

I’m not gonna wear that dress,

And neither are you.

 

Goodbye, Romeo.

 

_Did you have to steal his life, my dear?_

_Why don’t just sit down?_

_Sit still, look pretty, don’t frown!_

_Just smile a little more and they’ll never suspect,_

_That you’re the one who killed him-_

_And not a heart attack!_

I don’t want to smile, papa,

I’ve told you so before,

I’m getting tired of this discussion,

And never wanted more

Then just

For you

To leave me

Be.

 

_Your brother ran away,_

_But don’t worry your little head,_

_I’ll get him home,_

_I’ll drag him home,_

_He’ll come back in a snap._

_In the meantime,_

_Why don’t you learn to sew?_

_Oh, darling,_

_Just smile!_

Brother, brother dear,

Father, let him be!

This house doesn’t need me-

It’s venomous already,

Bites us ‘till we’re dead.

Dead,

Like you,

Inside.

 

_Just smile!_

Fine,

I’ll smile.

F.o.r.e.v.e.r.

 

**Did you hear about Bianchi-**

**The Falco heiress?**

**She took a knife to her face**

**And carved it as a cReSt.**

**On both sides of her lips**

**She s liced!**

**Her pretty face**

**Forever marred by _grue-some_**

**Smile!**

(Don’t you know?

I’m the Joker!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m having loads of fun with this! It’s going to be one character in the lead per chapter! I’ve got ideas for four chapters already, there might be more if I come up with some more! :D 
> 
> The style was once more inspired by the lovely OperaEagle IcelynLacelett on ff.net! 
> 
> Next chapter: Ac-ti-va-tion, Bat Witch! (Nagi/Chrome)


	2. Ac-ti-va-tion, Bat Witch! (Nagi/Chrome)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _(Teenagers aren’t that cute anymore_   
>  _What are you doing here,_   
>  _Nagi?)_
> 
> In which Chrome is Batman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Batman.
> 
> Normal = Chrome  
>  **Bold** = general public  
>  _Italics_ = Chrome's mother in the first half, Mukuro in the second.

**You’re little Nagi,**

**Little Nagi dear!**

**The daughter of a star,**

**The drama pioneer!**

**And oh, is that not funny?**

**Such a coincidence!**

**Her career took flight**

**When she had a cute girl**

**On her arm.**

**(Teenagers aren’t that cute anymore**

**What are you doing here,**

**Nagi?)**

I don’t like the busy crowds,

I don’t like parades,

I’m fine at home,

Though the mansion’s huge

(Big and cold and l-o-n-e-l-y)

 

I guess I’ll just go outside.

 

_She fell into the well?_

_How unseemly!_

_Do keep a better eye on her,_

_You hear?_

_Oh- that’s the limousine,_

_The crowds must be cheering,_

_Waiting for me,_

_I must go!_

Mama, mama,

There are bats in the well!

 

_Talk to housekeeper,_

_I don’t have time now!_

But mama, mama,

I like them so much!

They’re so small, and dark,

And they fly!

 

_I’m out of here,_

_My dear._

_I’ll call the pest control later!_

You didn’t listen, did you?

(You _n_ e _v_ er do)

 

**There’s a girl in the well,**

**There’s a girl in the well,**

**And she’s refusing to leave,**

**Such a scandal, such a scandal,**

**Try to contain it,**

**It doesn’t work,**

**We’ll go ‘’Eww,’’ in the background**

**And praise her publically**

**For saving the bats!**

**Her mother, the star, the darling, the actress, so enraged**

**by the in-ci-dent.**

**She fired the housekeeper for calling pest control!**

**Of course, _she_ wouldn’t have done so. **

**She’s a saint, after all!**

 

_Nagi, Nagi,_

_Must you always get your way?_

_You’re such a selfish child,_

_Why don’t you go away?_

_If you  must play with such filthy beasts,_

_You can go outside_

_And sleep beside ThEm tonight._

It’s cold out here, it always is,

But today I mind less!

There are the bats now, and I like them,

They’re such sweet lullabies.

They’re not like people,

They don’t stop to talk,

Don’t make me un-com-forta-ble.

 

They fly in the night,

Almost invisible,

Oh, my darlings, I’ll hide you from the light!

Don’t worry- don’t worry,

This is me!

I love you, and you love me.

(You’re the only ones, though)

 

_Nagi, Nagi, just stop singing_

_To those blasted dirty beasts,_

_Shut your mouth,_

_Stop doing_

_Such selfish things to me!_

_Just come with me,_

_Look pretty,_

_And don’t speak your mind,_

_I don’t want another fuck-up_

_Like the last time!_

**It’s the Batgirl and her mother,**

**Such a nice pair!**

**Just look, how they love each other!**

**The best in Gotham!**

**The actress and the activist,**

**Oh, gotta love them,**

**No household in this city**

**That doesn’t know their name.**

_Batgirl- bad girl, Nagi, Nagi,_

_The curtain went down,_

_The crowd left, so did the staff,_

_Lights out,_

_Why are you still here?_

_What are you doing here, Nagi?_

_The show’s over!_

…You didn’t have to remind me.

I know you do not love me.

Just leave me to my city,

And my bats.

(I do not like the crowds)

 

There is magic in my fingers,

A boy that speaks to my mind,

And he’s a bat,

He loves me.

 

It’s cold outside,

but at least

it isn’t lonely.

 

* * *

 

**After many years of absence,**

**She has returned, the lady grace!**

**Oh, no, wait-**

**that was her mother,**

**Long since deceased,**

**We meant the Batgirl- was she not the Batgirl?**

**Oh, ‘twas so long ago!**

**(Batwoman now?)**

**Nagi’s back!**

Hello, Mukuro, my old friend,

How have you been/all these years?

I haven’t been in Gotham,

Disappeared into the mountains,

Learned some of the…

let's say darker arts.

 

_Why, you would be interested in those, would you not?_

_Pick a card, darling, and guess._

Tarot again?

 

_What else, my dear Chrome?_

May the spirits guide a witch!

Don’t speak my secret name

So loudly, teacher!

 

_You know they won’t hear._

_You’re a gem, you’re precious,_

_You’re the best of them all,_

_And that’s spoken from_

_A Bat-shifter (bad-shifter, get it?)_

_To a sister-witch!_

_Now, humor an old criminal,_

_And tell me of the ball!_

_Did it roll in the court,_

_The ball of fate?_

 

It’s getting grimmer every year,

They’re talking about

Taking down

The forest as a whole!

I can’t allow that,

I can’t!

Mukuro, just once more,

Teach me how to dance?

 

_My pleasure, dearie, but for the right price only!_

Is dancing/with the devil/not enough?

 

_Only the sun rises for nothing, sister, sister dear,_

_I need some poison, and I need it from the veins,_

_Need it from the deadliest, f.a.t.a.l. snake._

_So go, and get me what I crave,_

_From the woman ever-smiling,_

_Dearest Bat Witch!_

As you wish, brother-witch,

I will fetch it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chrome’s Batman is really different from the real Batman and that’s probably why it was so much fun to do! Mixing their backgrounds and seeing what happens is fun~~
> 
> Next chapter: MO: Suplex-Rob-You-Blind (Kyoko)


	3. MO: Suplex-Rob-You-Blind (Kyoko)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Wonder what her face is like,  
> **  
>  So underneath that mask!
> 
> Honey sweet and sugar smile,  
> That’s all you need to know!  
> You won’t know what hit you  
> ‘Till I suplex you, MO.
> 
> In which Kyoko is Catwoman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Batman.
> 
> Normal = Kyoko  
>  **Bold** = the public

**A pretty lady in a catsuit!**

**Ain’t it nice and clean?**

**Oh so tempting, so alluring,**

**You’ll forget your name!**

(And perhaps, also

The amount on your bank account

Before I came and stole…

Well, more than half)

 

**She haunts the streets at night!**

Ain’t no hooker, baby,

Though what’d be wrong with that?

It’s a respectable profession,

Unlike mine!

 

**Wonder what her face is like,**

**So underneath that mask!**

Honey sweet and sugar smile,

That’s all you need to know!

You won’t know what hit you

‘Till I suplex you, MO.

 

(Then it’s

The floor~)

 

**She robbed me, she robbed me,**

**She robbed me blind!**

**Gone, all my possessions,**

**All in one night!**

Don’t leave the window open,

Not even for your cat,

He brought a little friend in,

Just. To. Chat!

(Oops- isn’t that the French word for...

Cat?)

 

Be glad I didn’t leave you blind-

You know I could, you know I would,

I don’t have claws for nigh!

 

Oh my, is that Chrome-chan?

 

**Terror, people, terror,**

**Oh, terror in the streets!**

**The burglar met the Bat s** **inging**

**with the Joker in the street!**

**Oh god, oh god,**

**Safe here is no man!**

**Girls ain’t got guns,**

**Don’t need ‘em anyway!**

**Watch out for the Terror Trio,**

**Who appear** **when you expect them the least,**

**Actions declare them criminals,**

**But villains? Not so sure.**

**Property destruction?**

**Saved the habitat**

**Of endangered creatures!**

 

**They keelhauled a man-**

**The boy, his victim, they tucked safely into bed,**

**The assaulter on the shame!**

**(First, they went to the docks,**

**Hauled him underneath the ships,**

**Until they hung him on the clock tower,**

**Dangling by the pants**

**‘till the police came)**

**And stealing? Only**

**From the rich!**

**(Not that that excuses it,**

**But at least nobody’s**

**going hungry)**

**Criminals, they flood the streets,**

**Heroes, villains both,**

**But the most terrifying to all of them**

**Is the Terror Trio, though!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Harley Quinn- I Hear Pantomime! (Reborn)


	4. Harley Quinn- I Hear Pantomime! (Reborn)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Well, that'd be Harley Quinn,_   
>  _He rides them bikes like ego_   
>  _And he likes to show some skin,_   
>  _His gun is in his hat_   
>  _'Cause his shorts don't have po-ckets!_
> 
> **Damn!**
> 
> In which Reborn is Harely Quinn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Batman.
> 
> Normal = Reborn  
>  **Bold** = society gossips  
>  _Italics_ = The Biggest Gossip Who Knows Almost All

**Who's that? Who's that man?**  
 **Fingerlickin' suave?**  
 **'Em dark eyes, devilish!**  
 **Who's the burning man?**  
  
_Well, that'd be Harley Quinn,_  
 _He rides them bikes like ego_  
 _And he likes to show some skin,_  
 _His gun is in his hat_  
 _'Cause his shorts don't have_ po-ckets _!_

**_Damn!_ **

_Did you know, oh did you know,_

_He used to be a doctor!_

_But fingerlickin’ suit wearing,_

_Straight pants Mr. Reborn,_

_Was not a goodie-two-shoes,_

_As they should’ve known!_

_As psychiatrist_

_He got the prison key!_

**Help ‘em, baby, help ‘em,**

_No, help him, indeed!_

_He gave himself a helping hand,_

_And fell so for the chaos,_

_He couldn’t resist,_

_The lure of one more taste._

**Tell me more, tell me more.**

_He opened up the cell door,_

_The Joker sashaying_

_right past the bars!_

**So now he’s a criminal?!**

**And to as to what he’s done?**

_He’s shot ‘em, killed ‘em,_

_And still made them long for more._

_You might ask what’s he’s doing_

**These days? Aha?**

_That’be a secret, baby,_

_Or perhaps a baby secret?_

_They say he’s got a pupil,_

_Still chasing after chaos,_

_Wait- is that an engine?_

**_Oh god, I hear the sound of pantomime!_ **

BAM!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Five: Everywhere the Devil Spits (Di-ino)


	5. Everywhere the Devil Spits (Di-ino)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He became my teacher, oh my teacher-  
> Torturer, I mean,  
> Send me running, running,  
> ‘Till I entered his lab!  
> And oh, there, oh, there,  
> Right there I tripped,  
> And went, face first,  
> Into his darling Joker’s poi-son drip!
> 
>  
> 
> **How are you still alive?!**
> 
>  
> 
> In which Dino is Poison Ivy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Batman
> 
> Normal = Dino  
>  **Bold** = people/gossips/audience  
>  _Italics_ = Reborn

**Everywhere the devil spits, poison ivy grows!**

Really? Does it?

I don’t believe in the devil!

**Boy, oh boy,**

**Run quick, before you go to show!**

But I like the showbiz!

**He’ll take your life,**

**That teacher of yours!**

Pish posh, it’s just a little poison!

My teacher is okay, my teacher is alright,

A little cruel here and there,

But don’t you dare tell him I said that!

_I heard._

Re- Reborn.

_Aren’t you glad you at least partially kept_

_Your big mouth shut?_

Can’t you let it go this time?

_Pipsqueak Dino!_

 

Needles, needles, All day long!

The tester of the greatest song!

The ultimate killing machine-

Will be the thing that slays me!

Only it won’t, ‘cause it doesn’t work that way!

I’m immune to everything!

 

 **Except** **death!**

Let me tell, you,

You know my name?

It’s Dino, Dino Cavallone.

Once upon a time, I was the youngest son,

And the eldest too,

Yet so terribly shy!

Didn’t want to be the boss,

Of the terrifying mob!

 

And then one day my father called

The terrible Reborn!

Harley Quinn, they call him,

The pantomime of Death!

The Hitman who kills ‘em all,

The deadliest in town-

Except perhaps the Joker,

Who never wears a frown!

(Only, only poison dripping acid)

 

He became my teacher, oh my teacher-

Torturer, I mean,

Send me running, running,

‘Till I entered his lab!

And oh, there, oh, there,

Right there I tripped,

And went, face first,

Into his darling Joker’s poi-son drip!

 

**How are you still _alive_?!**

 

Well you see, it was a special concoction-

She never quite managed to recreate it.

The oldest of all, her magnum opus!

Well, I guess, that’s me now.

The poison of all poison,

The poison, to make immune!

Now, I spend all my days,

Immune to disease and grace!

No poison can kill me, no germ gets me quick!

Now I even have

Poison lips!

 

**Doesn’t your boyfriend mind?**

If he does, he knows where the door is!

 

**Oh my, oh my!**

I died for these powers,

Twice!

They’re part of me,

No boyfriend’s ever

Gonna make a fool out of me!

…At least, not like that.

I’m me. Buzz off.

 

_Boyfriend? Are you there already?_

_My, don’t make me laugh!_

_There’s a lot there, before you were_

_Staring at your boyfriend’s ass!_

**(Oh my, oh my)**

Well, what part of the story

Should I tell then?

 

_How about we begin with prison?_

Ugh. Alright.

So, little after my… unfortunate twice-death

(and very, very fortunate twice-rebirth)

**Let’s just say you were reborn.**

Very funny, teacher, very funny.

Ouch- Not the mallet!

**Then don’t sass me, Pipsqueak.**

Alright, alright!

Anyway, where was I?

_The part where you went insane._

I wasn’t insane!

_Then what do you call getting caught red-handed?_

_You better not answer that with_

_Clumsiness!_

Erm, yes.

Prison.

Where I began to plant-isize!

My powers emerged,

Some vines grew in…

Awkward places,

And the panel was calling me

A tree to be cut down!

**TMI! TMI!**

No, not TMI! Oh- you meant-

Um. Nevermind. Not talking about that.

_Now listen well, now his crush is coming!_

I did NOT have a crush on the Bat Witch!

**…He never said her name.**

For God’s sake, I’m gay!

…There might have been some admiration

Just a little.

A little much.

_You still have her poster on the wall!_

That’s a limited edition for you!

Plus, it’s about saving the rainforest,

And believe me, I’m all for that!

Nobody touches my beloved plants!

 

The Bat-Witch, she saved me from the panel,

Because I might not be a tree

But she was an activist

Saving the forest anyway!

Even the trees that were no trees at all!

 _Cough_ _\- puppy love._

It was platonic!

**We want sens-ation!**

_And he won’t give it to you!_

_Luckily, I’m his teacher,_

_Made to torture him!_

_It’s my job, my frustration, my joy entirely!_

_So it’s my duty, indeed,_

_To tell you of what he did_

_once he got out!_

DON’T YOU DARE!

_Who’s in charge again?_

I’ll be in the cellar,

Drowning my sorrows

And complaining to my fellow pupil.

_Free once again, roaming the streets,_

_He decided, dramatically_

_That his return to power_

_Couldn’t go via:_

_‘’Hello, I’m back, I want my throne.’’_

_(Which was good,_

_For this fool lived not just once,_

_But twice, and still,_

_He might as well be amusing)_

**Pipsqueak, stop pouting!**

Hey, not you too!

_In a temper tantrum-_

_I provoked him-_

_He shouted it from the rooftops:_

_‘’I can do it on my own! I don’t need your help!_

_All I want is my plants and some peace!’’_

_Said: ‘’Just you wait, I don’t need you!_

_You left me in there, only the Witch_

_Saved me!_

_But here, outside, I’ll prove it-_

_I’ll beat you at your own game!_

_The best, I’ll be!_

_Reborn, I’ll seduce_

_The most powerful boss_

_Of them all!_

I wasn’t that dramatic!

**_Yes, you were_ **

_And he walked out of the door,_

_Went to Xanxus di Vongola,_

_Failed terribly and stumbled in front of him!_

He’s my boyfriend,

I can’t have failed that badly!

_There’s a reason Xanxus’ the one in heels._

He looks good in those!

**_And you’ve got no balance._ **

_The adventures of Dino the Seductress!_

_Tried to wink- My god, what a laugh!_

_He had a muscle spasm in his eye for days!_

_Bend over to pick up the pen-_

_Wasn’t even intentional, just happened!_

_So was the flailing that came after_

_And his teetering on his feet,_

_‘Till he fell forward- face first, almost knocked out his teeth!_

But-

_And then, oh that time he set-_

Stop! I said, no, Don’t tell them that!

_Make me, Pipsqueak Dino!_

 

Then I will! I’ve let this gone on long enough,

It’s time I call it to a stop!

You don’t get to make fun of me,

It was hard enough!

Sure, the seducing part was foolish,

But then again, what’s not?

It… It was a journey.

A journey to my heart.

And at first, that had nothing to do with Xanxus.

It was me, all me, here in my head.

About being somewhere

All on my own

Where I was not born

Where nobody knew me

And nobody owed me, nor I them,

That I found out there was no such thing

As owing.

This is the world. It is cruel and vicious

It is breathtakingly beautiful- and that’s why we all die.

It’s the price we must pay

To be alive.

And in this world,

You don’t owe anyone.

Not a smile, not a polite word,

Nothing!

But remember,

Nobody owes you.

They’re not obligated to give you anything-

Everything

You receive

Is a gift.

 

And that is power.

Kindness, I mean.

To be able to give that,

And still be yourself.

Still, be and see.

And with every step I took

On my own legs out there,

I grew, until I knew,

This is me.

This is me, ever-changing,

Don’t-Owe-You-Nothing,

Too-Kind, Clumsy, Silly me.

Coltish limbs, and always falling,

‘Till I fell for the face

That showed me Kindness

As it truly was

First.

His name is Xanxus and it’s funny

How the harshest people

Are sometimes the kindest

Because they understand what it is

To not know the truth.

Because they remember that

And live by unforgiving truth

So they might never forget the sacrifice

Of innocence it took.

 

Now tell me,

Can you fault me for that?

 

**Yes, we can!**

Then I’m sorry, but I don’t care.

This is me, and as you said,

Everywhere the devil spits, poison ivy grows.

And the devil-incarnate I know by name-

It’s my teacher, Harley Quinn,

King of all Things Tempting,

Seduction is his field,

Even when it ends in death.

 

I follow not his path,

For I am me,

poison flowing through my veins.

This is where I’ll be,

And if you cross me-

Don’t cross me-

Just be warned:

Walking away- life intact-

Is a _gift._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Glacier Born (Adelheid)
> 
> Which will feature Adel as Superman!

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to squeal with me: this is my [Tumblr](https://onceabluemoonwrites.tumblr.com/).


End file.
